Why does it have to be spiders?

Arachnophobia.

A lot of us have it, me (and Ron Weasley) included. No matter how many times I read or watch Charlotte's Web, I do not come away with a love for spiders. Sure, Charlotte was a great friend to Wilbur, and I feel bad for him that he lost her, but she was a spider. Sure, spiders eat other bugs, but that doesn't mean I want them around any more than any other creepy insects.

So, since I'm afraid of spiders, I don't want them around. BUT since I'm afraid of them, I'm usually too freaked out to get near enough to kill them. This is a problem. However, I've come to realize that spiders' creep factor increases exponentially according to size, so I've developed the following chart to determine how to deal with them.

Spider Scale

1. The smallest spider on the scale is about the size of the head of a pin. Obviously, this is the best size of spider to have. It can be dispatched of with a tissue without causing a significant amount of grief to the arachnophobic. Unless, of course, you happen to be driving a car at the time, and one of these is making its way along your steering wheel, like I had happen this week.

2. Next is the slightly larger size, approximately the diameter of pen or pencil. This size causes some concern to the arachnophobic, and requires the swift use of a shoe to dispose of the bane.

3. Now the spider is around the size of a quarter. This is where the arachnophobic begins to run out of options. You can actually see the hair on its disturbing body and long legs. No longer small enough to comfortably crush, you must resort to trapping the beast. Grab an empty cup, jar, or box and drop it over the creature. Now that it can't move and you can no longer see it, it becomes less worriesome. From here you can either let it remain in the trap until it dies, or carefully carry it away (slipping a piece of paper under the trap) and releasing it into The Wild. Of course, with the second option you have the possibility of accidentally releasing it before you get to The Wild, in which case you have to start all over again, provided the spider hasn't already successfully hidden itself from you. I currently have one of these under a box on my work table at home, which is really hindering my ability to work.

4. The Tarantula. This is something no arachnophobic should ever have to see in real life. If you do come across one that is not safely behind glass or on a computer/television screen, the only real option is to run over it with your car. Do not get out to look unless you are certain it got creamed.

5. The Acromantula. Pray that this giant spider only exists in books and movies like Harry Potter (Aragog) and Lord of the Rings (Shelob), because it will in fact eat you. I think the only way to kill them is with magic or an Elfin-made sword. And good luck getting your hands on one of those!

So, fellow arachnophobes, in the future when you are paralyzed with fear in the face of a spider, just refer back to my handy chart to determine on a scale of one to five how much you should be flipping out.

Nerdfighter Win!

Every year my family visits the Fricks during the first weekend in August, and on Saturday we go to the Blueberry Festival. After breakfast of blueberry pancakes, sausage, and fruit cups, we hit the used book sale. This year they had a record amount of books. Immediately after I entered the book tent, I spotted a couple of Monk books. (They are based on the TV show, which is about an obsessive compulsive detective.) When I picked one up, I realized right next to it was a copy of Paper Towns!

Here's some background so you understand why this is exciting: I follow vlogbrothers John and Hank Green on YouTube. After I knew that John was a YA author, I started looking for his books. I've searched several used book sales and shops and never saw any of his novels. I came to the conclusion that John's books are so good that no one would want to get rid of them. I was able to read them all by borrowing them from the library, but I still keep my eye out to buy them. Since I watch John's videos all the time, I feel like I know him. So I was pleasantly surprised to find a John Green book right away--I hadn't even started to hunt for anything specific yet.

Now, sometimes John or fans (aka Nerdfighters) will go to a bookstore and tuck a note inside one of John's books for whoever happens to buy that book. So I was thinking about that and opened the book just in case. And there was a note! Inside the front cover were two orange post-its that said this:

"To my dear Alisha: Make an adventure of it. <3 Amanda :)"

and

"Paper Towns: It's a signed copy. :) The girl reminds me of you. I <3ed it. :) It's different. I met the author, and his brother. Hope you enjoy it."

Wow! I'm surprised that after Amanda put a lot of thought into giving her friend this book, Alisha got rid of it, personal notes and all. What happened there?! Secondly, did she say signed?! Sure enough, there on the title page is "J Scribble"! No way, that is so cool! I lucked into a signed copy?

So then I flipped through to see if there were any other notes, and I discovered there are five more orange post-its stuck throughout the book! I like this one on page 22:

"Promise me you'll look up & listen to the "Black Santas" song by Hank Green on Youtube! I heard it live! Haha"

If you haven't read the book, there's a character whose parents have the world's largest collection of black Santas. I don't remember Hank singing about it, but I found this song by someone else from one of their live events. The video is shaky, but you can occasionally see John and Hank on the side cracking up. :P

Anyway, the best part is, I got this super awesome book for only $2! (The hardcover goes for $18 new). This particular novel has two different choices of art for the hardcover (and the paperback has a third completely different picture). The one I happened to get is happy Margo. :D


(Happy Margo didn't forget to be awesome. Sad Margo did.)

Celtic Thunder 2.0

For those of you who have never seen one of their PBS specials, Celtic Thunder is a group of five male vocalists from Ireland and Scotland. I recently discovered that they have a new CD out. I think it actually was released around my birthday--I guess I'd know these things sooner if I wasn't so far behind in watching their YouTube channel videos.

I am very excited about this CD (Get a taste of the awesomeness that is "Heritage" here) because they're actually going back to Celtic songs. They've been covering so many pop songs lately that I was beginning to think they were becoming Celtic in name only. But, finally, the kilts and traditional music are back! Heritage includes songs like "Whiskey in the Jar," "Black is the Color," and "Red, Red Rose."

The new music isn't the only change, however. This might be the last album with all of the original five members (George Donaldson, Paul Byrom, Ryan Kelly, Keith Harkin, and Damian McGinty). First to leave is Paul, who wants to have a solo career. He is one of my least favorites (I'm not a huge fan of his opera-style voice) so I don't really care. However, I do mind that Ryan is quitting, because he "decided to take a step back from Celtic Thunder and the public life that goes along with being part of it." Nooooo! He and Keith are my favorites. Ryan sang all the dark or "bad boy" songs which I dig. As the Celtic Thunder website says, "Ryan's love for drama made him the perfect pick for the role of the 'rogue' or 'Dark Destroyer' in the Celtic Thunder Show." Pretty much all of his songs are my favorites. Now I'm bummed that he's gone, and he's not planning on a solo career. (Too bad--I'd buy his music.) I guess he got tired of the publicity. Maybe he'll go back to being an accountant. Check out their fantastic performance of "That's a Woman"--it really juxtaposes Ryan's style with Paul's usual sappy love songs.

If you've been doing the math, this puts us down to three guys. Paul's replacement is Emmet Cahill. I haven't seen much of him yet, but so far he's okay. And then we have Neil Byrne. He's been around for awhile, playing guitar in the background. He started edging his way forward and singing once in a while. They never really seemed to acknowledge him as an official member, but I expect he'll be getting a bigger role now, which is cool with me.

Now that I'm just getting into Heritage, I've learned that "Storm" will be coming out this month on PBS, with the CD for sale in mid-September. They work fast! The preview for Storm is intriguing--it looks like a full-on musical!

Also, I read that Damian is one of the top five finalists on "The Glee Project," a reality TV show on Oxygen (which I don't get so I haven't seen). The winner of that show gets to be a guest star in seven episodes of Glee's third season! I really hope Damian wins, because that would be really cool. It'd be fun to have an Irish exchange student. The funny thing is, Damian doesn't even need the "instant fame" from being on Glee--he already has it!

The Last Five CDs I Bought

I was left unattended in the media sections of Kmart and Walmart, so I came home with several new CDs. Here are my most recent purchases:


Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More
I was introduced to this English folk band when they performed on the Grammys. They were really good, despite being followed by a Bob Dylan "performance." (He's part of the reason why I don't normally listen to folk music, but Mumford & Sons has redeemed the genre for me.) Some of my favorite songs on this CD are "Little Lion Man," "I Gave You All," "Awake My Soul," and "The Cave," though really they're all so good I could easily list half of them as my favorites.


Justin Bieber, Never Say Never: The Remixes
One minute I'm looking at the rack of new releases, and the next I'm holding this. What can I say, guilty pleasure. This has 7 songs, 5 of which are on his My World 2.0 CD, which I already own. But this has guest duets. I love "Never Say Never" with Jaden Smith, and "That Should Be Me" with Rascall Flatts is great. Other featured artists include Usher, Chris Brown, and Miley Cyrus.

Green Day, Awesome as F**k
This one is to balance out the Bieber. Also while looking at the new releases, I realized I don't own any Green Day, and this seemed like a good place to start. The CD has hits like "American Idiot" and "Wake Me Up When September Ends" and the songs are live recordings from various concerts around the world. There's also a DVD of a live show in Japan, which is pretty cool. They do "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" on that. There's also crossover between the CD and DVD, so there's repeats of stuff like "21 Guns," "Holiday," and "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)." It rocks!


Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides soundtrack
I own the first three soundtracks, so I knew I'd get this one, it was only a matter of when and where. It's quickly becoming my favorite of the series. In addition to the traditional POTC score by Hans Zimmer, they've added some Spanish guitar ("featuring Rodrigo y Gabriela"), which freaking rocks! I love it. And then, they took 7 of the 11 songs and let people remix them, and included all of those on the soundtrack too! They did that with "He's a Pirate" for the second CD, which I love, so this is like seven times as awesome. :)


Albannach, Eye of the Storm
I first saw this Scottish band (pronounced like almanac, but with a "b") at the Renaissance Faire and then again when they came to Phoenixville the first year we had a Celtic festival (which I think is coolest thing this town has ever done). That was about five years ago and they only had one CD out. Now they have four, so I figured it's high time for me to own another one. This opening song, "The Uprising" starts with a soliloqy about William Wallace in a Scottish brogue, so that's fun. From there it's their normal "tribal" drums and bagpipe. And the occasional singing. It's the kind of music that makes you want to watch Braveheart. (Freedom!)

Stuff I like

Here are five things that currently me gusta.
1) Bacon-scented perfume. Oh yes, it's a real thing. I saw Jay Leno talking about it. I haven't smelled it yet, but I expect it's fantastic. Although it would probably make me hungry. This made me wonder if there is coffee-scented perfume, because the best thing about coffee is the smell. And apparently, that exists too!

2) Energy drink gum. I found this at the store. Brands like Rockstar and Amp are selling chewing gum. It's energy drinks minus the drinking. The taste takes some getting used to, but the gum is decently effective and more convenient than a can.


3) Oreo Fudge Cremes. Sweet niblets, these cookies are fantastic! There is a layer of cookie and a layer of the delicious Oreo creme we all know and love, surrounded by chocolate fudge. Whoever came up with fudge covered Oreos is a genius. They even come in different creme flavors, like mint or peanut butter, but I tried the original kind. I like that there is one cookie instead of two, like the traditional sandwich (which I believe is also available doused in fudge), because there is a better cookie-to-creme ratio.

4) American Idol season 10. I thought last season jumped the shark, what with one of the most boring collection of contestants and ho-hum winner they've ever had, and knowing that Simon Cowell wasn't coming back. But despite losing the best judge while still being stuck with Randy "for me, for you" Jackson, I've enjoyed having Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler on board. And I don't know if having actual celebrity singers drew a fresh crowd, or if it was the lowered audition age, or something else, but they managed to end up with a fantastic group of singers. For the first time EVER I'm a fan of the top four contestants, and half of them are country singers! In past years you were lucky to get one decent representative of the genre, let alone two who were good enough to hang in there. At this point I don't mind who wins, since they're all favorites (but Scotty is more favorite). However, I am bummed that James Durbin is out, since I thought he was the front-runner. But I'm happy it's an all-country finale. Carrie Underwood needs some company. :)

5) Josh Hutcherson as Peeta. I'm so excited that the Hunger Games is being made into a movie. When I read the books, I imagined some of the characters as certain actors, based on casting suggestions in an Entertainment Weekly article, and Josh was one of them. I think he'll be great as Peeta, and I've been a fan of his since Bridge to Terabithia. The article also got Effie correct; she'll be played by Elizabeth Banks. However, they were wrong about Haymitch, who will be played by Not Robert Downey Jr. I am gravely disappointed by this. Robert Downey Jr. IS Haymitch, much like Viggo Mortensen WAS Aragorn. At this point I can only hope they'll recast the part, like they did in Lord of the Rings when Stuart Townsend didn't look old enough to play Aragorn.

Soccer season has begun!

Philadelphia Union is sponsored by Bimbo, which is an unfortunate word to name bread and even even more unfortunate word to have plastered in large letters across the front of your shirt. They pronounce it "beem-bo" which seems to me like Hyacinth Bucket insisting her name is pronounced "bouquet." Riiiiiight. I think I'll pass on buying a jersey if it's all the same to you.

Sponsorship aside, I am a fan of Philadelphia Union, and I've been able to watch their second season on TV so far, which is kind of a miracle. (Because I actually have off on Saturdays when they're playing, and it's actually on network TV instead of cable.)

Game 1: They played Houston Dynamo. Union scored a goal in like the first 5 minutes, and managed to hold on to that lead for like 85 more minutes. Apparently they don't know that Philadelphia teams are supposed to lose their lead right before the end of the game. Or is that just the Eagles? At any rate, they won 1-0, which was great, and the best part is that Houston Dynamo never lost a home opener before. Until now. Ha! How do you like them apples?

Game 2: This time it's Philadelphia's home opener and we're playing Vancouver Whitecaps. I didn't even know there were Canadian MLS teams. (It's the first year for this one.) Apparently they think they're playing hockey, because they're tackling and fouling like crazy. I did the math--it averaged to a foul every 2.7 minutes! And as Taylor Twellman said, the ref was "handing out cards like it's someone's birthday." It was only a matter of time before someone got a second yellow--I'm amazed they made it through the first half! Fortunately, it was Vancouver who was red carded, so that gave Philly enough of an advantage to finally score in the 77th minute. And once again they held the lead and won 1-0. Yessss!

Which brings us to Game 3: LA Galaxy. I was super duper excited to see LA Galaxy play (and by LA Galaxy I mean David Beckham). But what do I see when I turn on my TV at game time? No soccer! I'm all "Donde esta mi juego de futbol?" and ABC is all "Sucker!" Because they totally suckered me in, putting the first two games on and then stopping right before the one I really wanted to see. I checked the schedule, and there's only three more games they plan to put on network television. And LA Galaxy isn't one of them. Boo. And to make it worse, I checked the score, and Philadelphia lost to LA 1-0. Suck an elf. At least I was able to watch the highlights online. Looks like I missed an exciting game, between some close shots on goal and 10 cards, including 2 reds, one of which was in stoppage time! You'd think Philadelphia would've done better while LA was down a player, but no. Oh well. I don't mind losing so much when it was to an assist by Beckham. :P He did an amusing interview with Jimmy Kimmel which you can watch here.

Dear Safeway, I hate you

There are many things about working for Safeway that annoyed me, but just when I thought I was done with them, one more issue came up. All I wanted to know was if my dental insurance coverage would continue after I quit. I figured it ended once I stopped working there, but my Mom thought it was probably paid up to the end of the month. And since my dentist loves dragging me in to work on stuff, I needed to know if I could make an appointment before my new health insurance kicks in. Of course, Safeway's benefits website doesn't answer my question, so I've got to call them.

Yay.

To ask my simple question I not only have to jump through hoops, I have to make the hoop before I jump through it.

Step 1: Choose to access health and welfare benefits.

Step 2: Choose option where I can ask a question.

Step 3: Enter my SSN.

Step 4: Enter my PIN which is my birthday.

Step 5: Make up a new PIN on the spot (and no, you can't use your birthday).

Step 6: Renter the new PIN you just made up.

Step 7: Choose to access health and welfare benefits (again?! I thought I was already doing that!)

Step 8: Listen to some blather before they transfer my call to a real person.

Step 9: Ask my freaking question. (And learn I was right.)

Step 10: Wonder why they even needed my SSN and PIN.

Good riddance, Safeway.